* A Girl & Porn.

Anonymous asked: Any tips for "bigger" girls on how to ride cock like a pro? Riding cock seems like it takes a lot of rhythm and speed to be good (for the dude), but I don't think my fat ass is capable of such things :/ I want to be in control!

Haha I love you!  Riding cock has been a “fear” of mine for a while, but luckily it’s like homework: No one fuckin’ does it after college. HAR HAR HAR.  No I’m just trying to make jokes with you.

Honestly, don’t be too thrown off by porn.  Although a swift bounce is probably pleasant, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being on top and setting a slower, more sensual pace.  Who says girl-on-top has to mean wild, speedy fuckin’?  

My advice for a bigger girl starting out riding dick or somewhat unsure of how well she can do it… take on a doggy style position and rock yourself down and backwards.  Your ENTIRE body is going to be moving, so you might work up a sweat quickly, but I guess that’s good for us, right?  Burning more calories and what not.

Advice? Hiding salami.

Hey Gwp,

Been following your blog for about a month now, you have great taste and you give good advice! If you could give some here, I would appreciate it. White dude, 22 years old, straight.

So… when I was a bit younger, my best friend showed me PE. When I realized how we were doing it worked(extremely  well), it was kind of my goal to be bigger than he is. Luckily being uncircumcised I gain faster (haha!).

I wasn’t aware of the illusion that a smaller frame creates for a dick, he’s somewhat skinny/short while I’m actually husky and tall. But fast-forward 7-ish years of enlargement…

Anyway, I’ve been friends with girls, but I’m in college now and begun to lose weight/pack on more muscle. It sounds stupid, believe me I know. But I have uncomfortable fear that as I lose my gut… I don’t know how to “hide the salami” so to speak. Are you familiar with any techniques of doing so?

I now am 7”x6” soft, 8.5”x7” hard, but actually have never been with a chick. More due to my weight, but… what will a chick say when the time comes? Is it too much if she can’t fit her hand around it? Would a girl actually turn me down because of my girth?

Oh yeah, of course I’ve stopped most PE. Just need to do exercises to keep my erection angle higher nowadays.

Sex is tough! Any advice would be great.

M/No tumblr yet :’(

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So I’m assuming “PE” stands for penile enlargement.  And from the timing of things, you were “doing” penile enlargement around the age of 15?  I’m also going to assume it was a manual means of enlargement rather than any kind of drug you were taking - like “stretching” while masturbating.  

I have no idea whether or not something like that increases your width as well or if you were actually taking a drug or just happened to be very thick already.  

I didn’t know that men had that much difficulty hiding their junk, but I would assume a combination of boxer briefs and comfort fit dark denims will help hide it.  You probably have an amazing bulge in sweats, basketball shorts and dress slacks.  I don’t know what there is to be embarrassed about in that aspect of having a large penis.  I’d also like to point out the fact that men with a relatively small penis often “show” a lot easier because of a poking cockhead that’s difficult to “put down.”

When it comes to having sex, there very well could be girls who will complain during sex and even refuse to have sex with you.  If it makes you feel any better, however, there are plenty of women who complain and refuse to have sex with men of a smaller size, too.

I can absolutely understand that your size is a big concern of yours when it comes to having a sexual relationship if you’re worried that it’s too big, but it isn’t the only thing that’s important - remember that.  In any event, there are also size queens who will love you ONLY because of your size, and then there are good people who will love you regardless of your size.

What’s most important here is that you submit a photo of your giant cock, though!  I’m just saying, I get a lot of guys complaining about big dicks and none of them ever prove it.  Not to say I’m wasting my “good advice” on you, but I would like a reward for giving the advice, ya know?  Help a sista out.

Anonymous asked: Hey, you're really good at giving advice :) Anyway, my question is do you think it's weird if I'm seriously attracted to one of my brother's friends, who is waaaay younger than me? Like if I fantasize, it's about him even though the age gap is huge - we almost did something when he had a sleepover the other day but he thought it was weird cuz I'm more than 5 years older than him

Thank you for the compliment!

As much as I’m into going for what you want, I honestly do feel strongly about staying clear of legal age restrictions.  The fact that you didn’t mention this guy’s age makes me think that he’s under 18 and you’re over 18.  Obviously if you aren’t over 18, gtfo haha.

In this situation that you’ve explained, though, my biggest concern is that he’s not of legal age.  If he’s 19 and you’re 26 then legally who’s going to stop you?  The only hurdle there would be the both of you figuring out common interests, realizing he’s probably going to continue to mature and grow out of the interests that he has today (and you’ll do the same, too, of course).

If it’s a situation where he’s underage though, don’t you fuckin’ touch that boy.  There are far too many situations where you could find yourself in trouble, serving time, paying fines, signing up for sexual predator lists… don’t bother.  Fantasize, but don’t act.  he’ll become less appealing over time.

Anonymous asked: So ive been dating this girl for a while now and being a big fan of foreplay, I finger her/eat her out a lot before we have sex. She gets really wet because of this...but says it kinda sucks cuz theres less friction and she cant feel it as much when we fuck. Is that normal? Any explanation?

Uuuum.  Alright, I’m going to restate what I think your question is (to make sure I’m answering your question, and not my own version of what I interpreted) and then I’m going to answer your question.

The problem that you’re seeking advice with is the fact that your girlfriend becomes TOO wet before sex and therefore feels very little friction/sensation during sex.

2 very possible “issues” could be that she has a somewhat looser entrance or you are smaller than her vagina.  (Haha, not you as a person, haha.  Your penis.)  I personally don’t like to “believe” in the idea of being too small or too loose, but it’s a possibility.

I personally don’t like to finger my clit with a wet finger.  Maybe you could be active in “drying it out” by keeping a wash clothe on hand. It might be a temporary solution that only helps for 10 minutes or so, but it’ll be a pretty sweet 10 minutes, huh?  

Could the issue be that you’re contributing to how wet she is with your saliva?  I’ve never been a fan for the kind of oral sex that leaves me super slippery and soppy afterwards.  I like a “clean” eater, personally.  

There are a lot of causes and a lot of solutions, in my opinion, but it’s a matter of deciding what works best for you guys as a couple.

Here’s something to look at maybe.

“Women love throwing the whole “Men think about sex every seven seconds” in guys’ faces, but is that actually true? Not exactly. A study by the National Health and Social Life Survey said 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day (compared to 19 percent of women). However, in a recent study by the Kinsey Institute of 1,009 heterosexual middle-aged and older couples in long-term (average 25 years) relationships, women are the ones who value sex the most in a relationship, while men want more cuddling, aww.”

This isn’t actually EVERYTHING I wanted to know about guys.  It’s more like “some stuff you might want to know about the statistically typically man.”  It’s still a fun read I suppose.  Flip through it.

The Couple's Fantasy Checker

I get a lot of questions asking, “How do I tell my partner I’m interested in (something curious) without them laughing at me?”  The answer?  You don’t tell ‘em!  There’s a quiz online where you and your partner can answer how interested you are in certain sexual fantasies.  If you both show interest in a fantasy, the quiz will tell you about it.  If you picked “I love rape porn!” and your partner picked “I’ll never be interested in rape more,” then the quiz doesn’t even bring it up!

You can take the quiz back-to-back on the same computer or on separate laptops. 

"All sins are forgiven once you start making a lot of money."

— RuPaul (via libbyroastbeef)

Anonymous asked: ok so i tried watching porn today, and all i see is ugly, fat, tiny dicked guys fucking some barbie. and she either gets smacked or cum on. can i get a hot dude and a woman that will actually get me off instead of making me worry over the humanity of females?!

If you honestly mean what you just said then you are not looking at porn the right way.  The last time I saw something like what you just described, I had it coming.  I watched some Ron Jeremy of Today fuck some 18 year old, and then I went to some horrible site that we won’t even talk about.  

There’s a bunch of unattractive guys fucking some girl who’s trying desperately to be anything and everything western society tells her she should be - yes.  That’s because porn is pandering to that sort of guy, who feels too unattractive to get fucked, so he can jerk off without competing with the ugly go on screen.

For the most part though, if you visit “the basic” porn sites like redtube, mofosex, porntube, youporn, etc. you’re probably going to see 2 equally unattainable people going at it. (“College parties,” dorm room shit, “drunk couples” and first times on video)

Seriously, I just now went to each of those sites, and in any screenshot per video that isn’t a close up of a cummed-in pussy, it’s an ultra toned guy with a girl who’s about half his size, which is the “ideal” couple in the eyes of pornland.  

Honestly, if you’re gonna be up in arms about something, be mad at yourself for not searching for “amateur/homemade” or “chubby girls” or for not going to better porn sites.  What porn calls chubby is me: just some meaty, big titted female; and she’s usually getting dicked up by the same chisel chested “stud” who was banging Barbie ten minutes ago.  

In short, I say:  Let them bitches fuck.

Anonymous asked: From one woman to another woman, when 'preparing' for sex what do you think is best for down below?
shaving, anti-hair removal, trimming, or just leaving it o'natural? x

The only thing I’ve ever done was shave before a date, and continue to shave regularly if I’m dating someone.  I personally just like the lower area to be clean and clear, but I leave a landing strip from the meeting of the lips, up to the point I’ve decided is no longer pussy lol.

Don’t get crazy with your experimenting if you’re expecting sex.  In my opinion, that’s the worst time to try something new.  If you can, give yourself like 4 days to try something new out.  I suggest you be careful with it, but I’ve used Nair during my lazy, “shaving takes too long” phase.  It smells like a perm/boiled eggs, but the hair just rinses off.  The downside is the weird feeling of the hairs that you missed.  They have a rough texture afterwards, like if you were to burn a piece of hair and then feel it.

As a naturally hairy person I should probably make a post about hair removal, but I don’t really want to “encourage” people to go crazy with it.  We all grow hair in one place or another, so I’m not really against having hair.  However, I do like to keep down below pretty neat and trimmed for my own comfort, and for my partner’s enjoyment.  I haven’t had anyone say, “I’d rather you have a bush,” but I’ve had plenty of people say they loved it.  I have had a couple ask me why I don’t wax, and I easily got rid of them, because they wanted waxed and I don’t wax lol.

Anonymous asked: hey, im a 18 year old girl and still a virgin :( ive done stuff with a number of guys, but never gone the full way! it's bad to say but i really want to know what it feels like to have a nice dick inside me :') i love touching, and having one in my mouth, but im more than ready for sex now! but i dont want to be too pushy, because i know as a girl i dont like that with some guys. arghhh it's so annoying and tbh i really want to have sex now. all my friends say how amazing it is, and there's me still a virgin :(

Here’s the thing, I was an 18 year old virgin, too.  There’s no doubt in my mind I was intellectually and emotional “ready” for sex by the age of 14.  I got my period in 4th grade, I absorbed all the sex health info they gave us starting in 5th grade, but more than just being “ready,” it’s about what you want in a partner.

On a daily basis, men are literally at-the-ready to stick a dick in you.  If all you want is sex, it’s there!  

You have a choice to make.  Is the desire to have sex more important than having SATISFYING sex with someone you get along with, share an attraction with, and who you believe will take your feelings (physical and mental) into consideration?

If all you want to do is fuck, do it and be safe and clean and protected about it, but you won’t feel very successful I don’t think.  Being ready isn’t the starting point of your sexual life, it’s feeling comfortable sharing yourself with a compatible person (if you’re like me).

Even a “bad” experience with a good person is a satisfying sexual experience in my opinion.

Anonymous asked: I tried giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time and I swear a couple times there was so much sticky friction that a fire could have been lit. I was too shy to go into using my mouth and I know that could have helped, but what the hell was happening? It's not like I have rough hands or anything.

It’s not like rubbing your palms together, it’s more like… rubbing your armpit: it’s tender skin that chafes and he’s probably adding in some pre-cum, too.  You’d think that would help, but not much when you’re giving a dry handy.  

You don’t have to put it in your mouth to lube it up with spit, but lubing it with spit is helpful.  You could spit (which most of us here decided is gross) or you could do the sneaky head-suck and pucker your lips up to let spit ooze out.

I’ve given handjobs with baby oil gel before.  Do not attempt to use a condom after applying baby oil gel.  It has a pleasant smell, it’s meant for babies which in my book means it’s okay to suck a dick lubed in baby oil gel, and it stays slippery for a long while.  Just use a dab, don’t mustard that hot dog.

I wish I had known about manual restoration as a teenager.

uncutting:

Seriously, I would have started a LONG time ago if I had known back then I could restore my foreskin without buying a device. Imagine how far along I’d be- hell, I probably be finished by now.

I’m still glad to be starting relatively young, though. And by starting after I gained a sex life, I’ll know what it’s like both ways. It’s not everyday you hear someone talk about his sex life getting better and better as he gets older.

I thought this was an important message to post.  If I have any male followers who are saying, “I like how much you like uncut dick, and I kind of wish I wasn’t.” (which is a message I get at least once a week), please follow uncutting.